Why I Don’t Try to Figure Everything Out on My Own
I’ve realized something about the way I like to learn.
If there’s something I really want to get better at, I almost never want to figure out every single part of it by myself.
Could I? Maybe.
But I’ve learned that just because I can figure something out on my own doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the best use of my time.
Sometimes the fastest, most enjoyable way to learn is to find someone who already knows the path and let them help you move forward.
Tennis taught me the value of learning with someone better than me
I loved learning tennis with a coach for a lot of reasons.
First, there’s the rapport. When you find a coach you really like, they become part teacher and part friend. They get to know how you learn, when you need encouragement, and when you need a little push.
But one of the things I loved most about working with a tennis coach was very practical: they were so much better than I was.
That meant we could get into a rally and actually stay there.
Forehand to forehand. Backhand to backhand.
Instead of hitting two or three balls and then chasing one across the court, I could stay in the stroke long enough to begin to feel the rhythm of it.
That rhythm matters.
When you’re learning with someone at your own level, you’re both still figuring things out. And if you’re hitting against a ball machine, you can certainly practice, but it doesn’t feel the same.
A good coach can keep the ball coming back exactly where you need it. They can challenge you just enough. They can help you stretch beyond where you would naturally stop.
And sometimes that’s what moves you to the next level.
Learning French taught me the power of immersion
My experience with French started very differently.
When I was eight years old, my family moved from the United States to Europe—first Belgium, and later Paris.
We didn’t speak French when we arrived.
My mother put us into the French school system, so we had tutors who came to help us learn the language and eventually help with other school subjects too.
But one of the things she also did was send each of us, separately, to live with a French family in Versailles for a month.
My older sister went first, then my middle sister, and then I went.
We were completely immersed.
French was all around us. We had to listen to it, speak it, understand it, and figure things out in real time.
It was essentially a total-immersion experience, and it taught me something I’ve never forgotten: if you really want to make progress quickly, immersion can change everything.
You stop dipping your toe in.
You stop practicing only when it’s convenient.
You’re in it.
That doesn’t mean immersion is always easy. It can be uncomfortable. It can make you feel like a beginner over and over again.
But it also accelerates your learning in a way that occasional practice often can’t.
Online business taught me not to reinvent the wheel
Years later, when I decided I wanted to build an online business, I took the same approach.
I found someone who already knew how to do what I wanted to learn.
For me, that person was Amy Porterfield.
She taught me how to create an online course, but really, she taught me much more than that.
She taught me the basics of building an online business: creating original weekly content, growing an email list, building trust with that audience, and eventually creating and offering an online program.
That framework became enormously important to the way I built my own business.
Could I have tried to piece all of that together myself?
Probably.
There were certainly enough blog posts, podcasts, free trainings, YouTube videos, and online articles available.
But I didn’t want to spend years trying to assemble the puzzle by myself.
I wanted to learn from someone who had already put the pieces together.
My mother had a phrase for this
My mother was a big believer in finding the person who already knew how to do the thing you wanted to learn.
Her attitude was essentially: don’t reinvent the wheel.
Find someone who is excellent at it. Learn from them.
I sometimes think of that as cutting a check for speed.
That may sound a little blunt, but what I mean is simple.
Sometimes you’re not paying because the information is impossible to find anywhere else.
You’re paying to shorten the learning curve.
You’re paying for sequence.
You’re paying for someone to say, “Start here. Do this next. Don’t worry about that yet.”
You’re paying to spend less time wandering.
And depending on what you’re trying to learn, that can be incredibly valuable.
Not everything requires a coach
I don’t think every skill requires a course, a coach, a tutor, or a paid program.
Sometimes figuring something out on your own is half the fun.
Sometimes you just want to experiment.
Sometimes you’re curious, but you don’t need to master the thing.
And sometimes there’s no reason at all to pay for help.
But I’ve learned to recognize the difference between something I’m casually exploring and something I genuinely want to get good at.
When it matters to me, I usually want guidance.
I want someone who can see what I can’t see yet.
I want someone who can push me a little further than I might push myself.
I want someone who can help me stay in the rally long enough to find the rhythm.
And I want someone who already knows the road so I don’t have to discover every turn the hard way.
You don’t get extra points for doing everything alone
I think a lot of us—especially very capable women—get used to figuring things out ourselves.
We know how to research.
We know how to solve problems.
We know how to keep going.
And those are wonderful strengths.
But there’s a difference between being capable of figuring something out yourself and deciding that you have to.
You don’t get extra points for taking the longest route.
Sometimes the wisest thing you can do is find a teacher, a coach, a mentor, or simply someone who is a few steps ahead of you—and let them help.
I’ve done that with tennis.
I’ve done it with French.
I’ve done it with business.
And every time, I’ve been reminded of the same thing:
Learning doesn’t have to be a solo sport.
xo,
Anne
It’s Never Too Late to Create®
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MEET ANNE
Hi…I’m Anne!
My creative inspiration comes from a lifetime of observation. I grew up in Paris on the Place St. Sulpice and walked to school through the Luxembourg gardens. And that was only the beginning… Learn more by watching the video on my About page.
